Vermilion Voice

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

**************************

In a Podiatrist's office:

Time Wounds All Heels.

**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals--on Wheels

**************************

At a Proctologist's door:

To expedite your visit, please back in.

**************************

On a Plumber's truck:

We Repair What Your Husband Fixed

**************************

On another Plumber's truck:

Don't sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!

**************************

On a Church's Billboard:

7 days without God makes one weak.

**************************

At a Tire Shop in  Milwaukee:

Invite us to your next blowout.

**************************

At a Towing company:

We don't charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.

**************************

On an Electrician's truck:

Let Us Remove Your Shorts

**************************

In a Nonsmoking Area:

If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

**************************

On a Maternity Room door:

Push. Push. Push!

**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:

If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:

We really know our stuff.

**************************

On a Fence:

Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!

**************************

At a Car Dealership:

The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.

**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:

No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.

**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

**************************

At the Electric Company

We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be.

**************************

In a Restaurant window:

Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in

and get fed up.

**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

Drive carefully! We'll wait...

**************************

At a Propane Filling Station:

Thank heaven for little grills.

**************************

And don't forget the sign at a

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

Best place in town to take a leak

**********************

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

CAUTION - This Truck is Full of Political Promises
 

LOL! Good ones   ;D

Yes, a favorite, GA, thanks. :D   It was one of the very first forwards I received which convinced me email was a good thing!

I think that racist political ad could've almost fit over here in the Joke Zone -- where skinny Achmed the Dead Terrorist would definitely have something to say about it!  ("Silence!!  I Keeeeel you!!")
In fact, the "bad guy" reminded me of another funny old forward (although I fully realize the reality behind it is no laughing matter):

How to recognize a Persian Cat
(http://www.danieltroycarmichael.com/blog/Uploads/Image/2008/PersianCat.jpg)

(http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/pharmacy_thru.jpg)

(http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii137/zzzz52_2008/HUMOR/rofl.gif)

DV, your smilies deserve their own special thread:  "Smilies to make you smile."  (http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/lol/smiley-lol.gif)
My favorite so far: (http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/funny/2/dance.gif)

Glad this forum is still sort of alive, (where's Buz?);  otherwise, I may have to post this:
(http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/dead_end_graveyard.jpg)
 
And, more signs:
 
    * In a restaurant: "Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."

    * On a scientist's door: "Gone Fission." 

    * Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

    * On a butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

    * In a beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

    * On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."

    * At a music store: "Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner."

    * On a music teacher's door: "Out Chopin."

    * On the door of a music library: "Bach in a min-u-et."

    * At a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Let us help you pick your nose."

    * On Devendra Singh's plumber's truck: "You've tried the cowboys - now try the Indians."

    * In a department store:  "Bargain Basement Upstairs."

    * In a health food shop window: "Closed due to illness."

    * On a park fence:  "Wet Paint. This is a warning, not an instruction."

    * In a field: "THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES."

    * For a skiing race: "Let's see who can go downhill the fastest."

    * On a ski lift: "No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."

    * On a repair shop door: "WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

    * At a second hand shop:  "We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc.  Bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain."