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Signs to make you smile


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Author Topic: Signs to make you smile  (Read 121 times)
Guardian Angel
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« on: August 14, 2010, 05:51:40 pm »

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

**************************

In a Podiatrist's office:

Time Wounds All Heels.

**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals--on Wheels

**************************

At a Proctologist's door:

To expedite your visit, please back in.

**************************

On a Plumber's truck:

We Repair What Your Husband Fixed

**************************

On another Plumber's truck:

Don't sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!

**************************

On a Church's Billboard:

7 days without God makes one weak.

**************************

At a Tire Shop in  Milwaukee:

Invite us to your next blowout.

**************************

At a Towing company:

We don't charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.

**************************

On an Electrician's truck:

Let Us Remove Your Shorts

**************************

In a Nonsmoking Area:

If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

**************************

On a Maternity Room door:

Push. Push. Push!

**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:

If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:

We really know our stuff.

**************************

On a Fence:

Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!

**************************

At a Car Dealership:

The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.

**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:

No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.

**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

**************************

At the Electric Company

We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be.

**************************

In a Restaurant window:

Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in

and get fed up.

**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

Drive carefully! We'll wait...

**************************

At a Propane Filling Station:

Thank heaven for little grills.

**************************

And don't forget the sign at a

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

Best place in town to take a leak

**********************

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

CAUTION - This Truck is Full of Political Promises
 
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DejaVu
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« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2010, 10:29:35 pm »

LOL! Good ones   Grin
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The most successful tyranny is not the one that uses force to assure uniformity, but the one that removes awareness of other possibilities, that makes it seem inconceivable that other ways are viable, that removes the sense that there is an outside. --Allan Bloom
Winston
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« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2010, 01:33:46 am »

Yes, a favorite, GA, thanks. Cheesy   It was one of the very first forwards I received which convinced me email was a good thing!

I think that racist political ad could've almost fit over here in the Joke Zone -- where skinny Achmed the Dead Terrorist would definitely have something to say about it!  ("Silence!!  I Keeeeel you!!")
In fact, the "bad guy" reminded me of another funny old forward (although I fully realize the reality behind it is no laughing matter):

How to recognize a Persian Cat

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Winston
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« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2010, 05:05:33 pm »

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DejaVu
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« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2010, 02:41:52 pm »



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The most successful tyranny is not the one that uses force to assure uniformity, but the one that removes awareness of other possibilities, that makes it seem inconceivable that other ways are viable, that removes the sense that there is an outside. --Allan Bloom
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« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2010, 10:49:43 am »

DV, your smilies deserve their own special thread:  "Smilies to make you smile." 
My favorite so far:

Glad this forum is still sort of alive, (where's Buz?);  otherwise, I may have to post this:

 
And, more signs:
 
    * In a restaurant: "Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."

    * On a scientist's door: "Gone Fission." 

    * Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

    * On a butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

    * In a beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

    * On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."

    * At a music store: "Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner."

    * On a music teacher's door: "Out Chopin."

    * On the door of a music library: "Bach in a min-u-et."

    * At a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Let us help you pick your nose."

    * On Devendra Singh's plumber's truck: "You've tried the cowboys - now try the Indians."

    * In a department store:  "Bargain Basement Upstairs."

    * In a health food shop window: "Closed due to illness."

    * On a park fence:  "Wet Paint. This is a warning, not an instruction."

    * In a field: "THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES."

    * For a skiing race: "Let's see who can go downhill the fastest."

    * On a ski lift: "No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."

    * On a repair shop door: "WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

    * At a second hand shop:  "We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc.  Bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain."
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