Jokes

Conservatives and Liberals

Random Thoughts On The Difference

If a conservative doesn't like guns, they don't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, then no one should have one.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, they don't eat meat. If a liberal is,
they want to ban all meat products for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his
enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, they quietly enjoy their life. If a
liberal is homosexual, they loudly demand legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, they see themselves as
independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
situation. A liberal demands that someone take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A liberal
wants any mention of God or religion silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for
it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that his
neighbors pay for his.

Politicians are like diapers they need to be changed regularly for the same reason.